This is not a post about being honest. Well, in a way it sorta is. It’s about me being honest with you guys, but that’s too long for a title, don’t you think?
This post is really hard for me, and I know some people will judge me, some people will be like, what? and others, I hope the majority of you, will accept me. If you know me, and who I am, in the real world, then this stays secret. You don’t tell anyone. I’m only saying this on my blog, because it’s anonymous, and those who know me in real life, and who know it’s me on this blog, well, I trust them.
I just read Ambi’s post, about being gay. Go read it. Please. Although I haven’t come out to the real world yet, it scares me. No, it terrifies me. I cry at night because I wish that I wasn’t who I am. But I am. And, try as I might, there’s nothing I can do about it. I know, at some point, I’ll have to come out to my parents, and society. But how can I do that if right now, I’m afraid to say the words ‘I’m bisexual’? Someone help me. Please. Someone who knows what I’m going through. Who knows just how hard it is.
There’s an LGBT club at school. Yes, you say, that will help you. Well, it would, if it wasn’t from Years 9-13. I’m Year 8, by the way. I don’t understand. Why can’t it be for all ages? Are we not supposed to know yet?
Someone who I told, who I trusted enough with this secret, turned out to be homophobic. That, I thought, was the worst moment of my life. When I realised that people weren’t going to be supportive. People weren’t going to help me. No. That wasn’t the worst moment. The worst moment was when she spread a rumour about me asking someone out. I didn’t, in case you were wondering. I didn’t ask her out. People believed this rumour. I didn’t realise, but it’s been going round since about a week after I first told her. And people believed it. People are avoiding me, in my own class, because they heard a false rumour from one of their friends. And I shouldn’t be avoided because of that anyway.
Just someone please help me deal with coming out, the homophobia, all of that. I really need someone. Please.
P.S I didn’t post this because of what anyone said to me. To most of you, that probably won’t mean anything. But to some, it will. I posted this because I wanted you to know the truth.